Can't or won't? –quot; by Sterling Archer Upvote 1 Downvote God, everything makes you uncomfortable. Just the tip? –quot; by Sterling Archer Upvote 1 Downvote Karate? The Dane Cook of martial arts? No, ISIS agents use Krav Maga. –quot; by Sterling Archer Upvote 1 Downvote Hey, I know you're upset, but if you ever mention my mother's loins or their frothiness to me again, I don't know what I'll do. but it will be bad. Now let's go bury this dead hooker. –quot; by Sterling Archer Upvote 1 Downvote Cyril, I paid her, I get to carry her corpse. –quot; by Sterling Archer Upvote 1 Downvote You know, when I was little I used to pretend that you weren't my mother. –quot; by Sterling Archer Upvote 1 Downvote I'm gonna pain you dearly Woodhouse, when I peel all your skin off with a flencing knife, sew it into Woodhouse-pajamas, and then set those pajamas on fire! –quot; by Sterling Archer Upvote 1 Downvote I'm not saying I invented the turtleneck. But I was the first person to realize its potential as a tactical garment. The tactical turtleneck! The. tactleneck! –quot; by Sterling Archer Upvote 0 Downvote You better call Kenny Loggins. ' Cause you're in the danger zone. –quot; by Sterling Archer Upvote 0 Downvote No Cyril, when they're dead, they're just hookers! –quot; by Sterling Archer Upvote 0 Downvote Hm? Sorry I was picturing Whore Island. –quot; by Sterling Archer Upvote 0 Downvote Sterling: Who would want to wear an on-fire suit? Lana: Cos play enthusiasts! –quot; by Sterling Archer Upvote 0 Downvote Malory: If you were half as smart as she was– Sterling: She wasn't too smart to die from eating chocolate, was she? –quot; by Sterling Archer Upvote 0 Downvote If you want breakfast you should try the diner; you're obviously into greek. Get it? –quot; by Sterling Archer Upvote 0 Downvote I have to go, but if I find one dog hair when I come back I'll rub sand into your dead.
With the long-awaited season five premier of FX’s vulgarity-soaked laugh-fest, Archer, at hand (tonight! what better way to whet the anticipation of both fan and neophyte alike than with some of the best quot;s from the show’s superbly voiced characters. So, now that you’ve filled out your H. R. paperwork, met the boss (sorry about that and met most of your other co-workers (um, yeah, sorry about that, too including one of our best agents. I suppose there’s no way to avoid it—it’s time to meet the world’s most dangerous spy (codenamed “ Duchess” Sterling Malory Archer. Yes, extremely dangerous when he’s not actively jeopardizing his missions with his near-constant drinking, womanizing and purposeful irritating of Lana. Welcome to one of the greatest characters in TV history. 17. “ He’s not coming back from that. That chick was, like, the Pele of anal.” Other things he’s not big on: Comforting emotionally fragile people. Yes, especially Lana. 16. “ I’m not saying I invented the turtleneck, but I was the first person to realize its potential as a tactical garment. The tactical turtleneck! The tactleneck.” He will actually abandon the mission in order to acquire the turtleneck if he feels his attire isn’t cool enough. Lana should think about keeping one with their gear at all times. 14. “ Oh, right! Because you walked into Strippers’ Discount Warehouse and said, ‘ Help me showcase my intellect.’” Archer gets indignant if he feels censored over staring at Lana’s attributes. Share Tweet Email Text Sterling Archer, the world’s most dangerous spy when he’s not actively jeopardizing his missions with his near-constant drinking, womanizing and purposeful irritating of Lana. 8. “ I bet I won’t even be able to eat spaghetti and meatballs ever again. Oh god, I could eat. Not necessarily spaghetti and meatballs, but not necessarily not spaghetti and meatballs. I mean, I really.
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